Reading: America's Hidden History: Untold Tales of the First Pilgrims, Fighting Women, and Forgotten Founders Who Shaped a Nation by Kenneth C. Davis

Excited for: New tv season (The Office, Heroes, House, Life, Kath & Kim, Pushing Daisies)

Should be doing: Working on my thesis

Really want to be doing: Take a trip to Ireland

Wish I was eating: Mac n' cheese

Need: Motivation

Planning: Find a new activity to meet people and make friends in the area

JAFF reading:
The End is Where We Start From by Shemmelle
An Engaging Friendship by AmyJ
Brave New World of Toil and Trouble by Beth AM
Bathing in the Fountain by Hannah
Seen and Unseen by Kim B.

Tags: currently
Current Mood: contemplative

Yeah, forgot about this thing. Remembered it. Decided to try it out again.

Life is the same, not very interesting, probably why I don't do very well with these things. Stopped writing any kind of fanfic till I'm not with my thesis (which must be done by next spring).

Let's see...

I go through these phases of obsessions. Some things I'll always love - Jane Austen, JAFF, my dog, watching movies online...

Some things are fleeting. Right now it's watching
Arrested Development on Hulu. Great show. I have a weird interest in
Will Arnett, can't decide if I find him attractive or frightening.

Went no poo, as they call it, on Monday. Basically means I stopped using shampoo and switched to just baking soda (mixed with a little bit of water). Everyone said my hair was going to be greasy the first few weeks, but I haven't seen any of that yet. I have weird hair, greasy and frizzy, it's a lovely combo. Plus I have greasy skin, so I heard that this was the way to go. So far I like it, my hair definitely feels different, softer, thicker and it hold the waves differently. Like instead of frizzy, each strand of hair doing it's own thing, the curls decide to stick together, which I like. I don't like that when I go to comb my hair after I get out of the shower and I feel like huge chucks are falling out. Maybe it will pass, or I'll go bald, ya know, either or.

A coworker just left for a better job. Didn't know him that well, and at his going away "ice cream social" I talked to him a bit and realized he was pretty cool and wished we couldn't have had more time to chat. Now I'll never see him again. More interesting is that I found out this really super quiet guy I work with went skydiving the other day. This might not seem like a big deal to some, but the guy is so quiet and reserved, barely says hi to anyone, so this was astonishing to me. He suddenly became the coolest person at work. I don't think I was ever high up there, but I definitely got knocked down a peg. It really got me thinking about how you can be surrounded by these people all day, everyday for years and never really get to know them. Crazy. Made me want to be more open with people, give them more of a chance, maybe they'll turn out to be douche bags, maybe your new best friend. You just never know.

Add to bucket list: Skydiving

Tags: bucket list, deep thoughts, tv
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Abba

I updated these chapters on ff.net a while ago and kept forgetting to update here, so sorry!


Chapter 23


It was raining again.


It had been raining all week since the day Darcy’s ship landed on the Scottish shore. The carriage ride through England to Pemberley was slow and dirty, but Darcy did not even notice. When he arrived at his estate, he barely grumbled a greeting to Mrs. Reynolds, who had met him at the door with tears of joy in her eyes. Several of the other servants waited anxiously behind her for a glimpse of the man, wanting to see with their own eyes the master they had been told a month before was dead.


He turned back to the round, red face of his housekeeper. “Notify me as soon as Georgiana arrives,” he commanded brusquely before retreating to his rooms.


When he entered, he quickly dismissed his valet before tugging in frustration at his cravat and tossing it in the corner. After pouring himself a rather full glass of scotch, and then another, he allowed his weary form to fall into a chair by the fireplace.


“I am a pathetic creature,” he admitted, his slightly slurred words spoken aloud to no one but himself. Several moments later, Darcy’s eyes fell closed and his breathing slowed, allowing the tortured man some rest.

---

Weeks before, Darcy and his cousin were riding across an open field outside of Halifax discussing the prospects of the property. They were both enthusiastic about investing in the estate and the matter was quickly decided upon as they began to travel home.


Not long into their journey, a fierce wind began to blow and shortly after a piercing rain made it nearly impossible for the gentlemen to continue. An argument soon followed between them about whether or not to carry on, but in the end it was Frederick Darcy’s reason that won out and the men were forced to stop at a local inn.


They did not return to the Darcy home until late into the night. Mrs. Darcy greeted them with hot tea and blankets, but it did little to warm the irritated heart of Darcy.


Fiona raised an eyebrow at her husband, “Were you not pleased with the property?”


“Oh yes, very much so, it is not that. Fitzwilliam here is only miserable because we did not make it back in time to for him to enjoy a meal with his Miss Bennet.”


Darcy gritted his teeth, “Frederick, unlike you, I take my appointments with others very seriously. I am very sure that Miss Bennet was quite agitated at my absence as I very nearly promised her I would be there. I was not even able to send a note!”


“Oh come now, man! She will forgive you, I am sure. It was only one evening and you will have the rest of your lives to torture each other.”


Darcy was not listening but staring intently out the window at the now drizzling rain. He quickly found himself alone and decided it was best to retire for the evening so that he may rise early and visit the Huskissons’ home as soon as possible.


The next morning found Darcy standing in the Huskissons’ parlor staring with eyes of dismay at Mrs. Huskisson.


“Gone! Gone back to England! I apologize, madam, but you must be mistaken.”


Emele straightened her back and turned away from him, irritated at his tone. “I am afraid not, Mr. Darcy, their ship left quite early this morning.”


“That cannot be! Why was I not informed?”


“That I do not know; I did not discuss the matter with Elizabeth. I assumed that she would have made you aware. If she did not, she must have her reasons.” She paused to choose her words, “I believe you were expected here last night, Mr. Darcy.”


He cleared his throat, “Yes, I must apologize but the weather keep me from doing so. I had not counted on being detained, nor did I even consider that Miss Bennet would no longer be here in the morning.”


They were silent for some time, neither knowing what else to say to each other. Elizabeth was not there and no amount of arguing with Mrs. Huskisson was going to bring her back. He abruptly took his leave, with an exasperated Emele left behind.


He walked as fast as he could, almost running to the shore. Upon reaching the dock, he frantically asked several men if there were any ships leaving for Scotland or England that day. He was told over and over that the ship had left several hours ago. It had to be true; he saw only Naval ships and fishing boats in the harbor. She was gone, and she had gone without even a word to him.

---

The passage from Halifax to Scotland could not have been more different than that fateful voyage Elizabeth began at the beginning of the summer. It was smooth, quiet, calming, but also unbearable as she thought only of Darcy and the reaction of her family. She felt almost ill the day she boarded the ship and watched tearfully as they floated away from the western shore towards home.


He did not come to her. She could not know why, but hoped that it was not a purposeful absence. She spent many quiet days on the deck of the ship watching the waves and praying he would come for her as soon as possible. Her uncle had said that it would be difficult for him to obtain a passage so soon and he may not be able to travel for weeks. This meant that she would not see him for over a month.


The thought was excruciating. A tear fell from her eye as a soft voice called her name.


“Elizabeth! Oh dear, I think I have had quite enough of this, you must tell me your troubles.” Mrs. Gardiner sat by her niece and gently took her hand. Elizabeth did not wish to burden her aunt, but she felt such an overwhelming need to speak of her thoughts that it all suddenly came pouring out.


“Mr. Darcy and I are to be married!” she said rather quickly and more loudly than she had intended. “I wanted to tell you but I did not think it right to share the news without him. But… but then he did not come that night before we left and I was not sure what to think and…”


“Oh Lizzy, dear, you should have told me! I do not think it would have helped to persuade your uncle to stay in Halifax any longer, but he would have assisted you in inquiring after Mr. Darcy’s whereabouts. I understand you must be upset about leaving without saying goodbye.”


“I do not know why he did not come.” Her tears had stopped; there was a little anger in her voice.


“There was a storm that night, do you remember? I am sure that is what did it; he must have been severely delayed and could not come. We left so early the next morning that he could not have known that we would be gone.”


“But I sent him a letter asking him to come, and he did not.”


Mrs. Gardiner sighed, “It was very short notice, dear, I am sure if he had received it in time, he would have come.” Elizabeth nodded, she believed her aunt’s words in her heart but a small part of her still doubted it, if only a little.


“That is not all you are concerned about, is it?”


“No, it is not.” She did not continue, but her aunt was a very patient woman and only squeezed her hand and smiled a little as she waited for Elizabeth to decide what to say.


“I had imagined, from the beginning of our engagement and subsequent rescue, that he would be by my side the day I reunited with my family. It gave me strength and helped to quell my fears about their reactions. I believed then that they would not see me as a fallen, abandoned woman who had run away if I had Fitwilliam standing next to me. I was sure that my mother would entirely forget about Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham as soon as she heard of the engagement. Jane and papa would only be happy for me and not worry in the least when they saw how wonderful my life would now be.


“I am afraid now that I am to arrive alone, their reactions will not be so jovial. My surprise resurrection will not be a comfort to anyone; I can only be a source of gossip and ridicule.”


“Elizabeth Bennet, how can you say such nonsense? Of course your return will be a relief to your family. No matter what has occurred, you must not think otherwise. You are too hard on yourself. All that transpired in the spring was not your fault. I know there was a bit of gossip, but it shall not matter now. You are to be married and to a wonderful man I should think, if you have decided on him! Your family will be overjoyed to see you; they love you. We love you! I am sorry that you will not have your Mr. Darcy to support you, but you shall have us. I hope that is some reassurance.”


Elizabeth felt a little ashamed for what she had said. “Oh, aunt, yes! Of course it is very comforting to have you with me. I had so wanted to speak to you, but my thoughts were all jumbled in my head and I was afraid they would not come out making much sense. It seems that I was correct in that assumption!” She smiled, “It is only that it has been so long and so much has happened, it is difficult not to think the worst. I promise to think happier thoughts from now on.”


“That is wonderful to hear, Lizzy. Now, what do you plan to tell them of your engagement?”


“I am afraid to say anything. He will most likely not be in England for several weeks after we return. If I tell mama anything she will be sure to spread it all over Meryton and before Mr. Darcy has had a chance to appeal to papa. I think it best to wait until he has returned to say anything. It will be harder without the news, but necessary I think.”


“I wish I could think differently, but I must agree with you. It would not be proper to share the news without your father’s consent. It will be alright, I am sure he will come as soon as he can and then everyone will know you are to be mistress of Pemberley!”

---

Chapter 24


The carriage rocked uncomfortably as it moved swiftly down the road. Mr. Gardiner had paid the driver a large gratuity to go faster and consequently Elizabeth’s nerves and stomach were suffering.


As soon as she and her friends had landed in Scotland, a letter was sent to Longbourn with the news. It could travel faster than they and Elizabeth did not wish for her appearance to be a shock. Her uncle had suggested a day of rest before they started traveling again, but her aunt dismissed the idea as she missed her children dearly and they started their journey only hours after they disembarked. They traveled late into the night and slept only a few hours in a quaint inn before leaving early the next morning only to repeat it all over again.


As they traveled closer and closer to her home, all Elizabeth’s fears resurfaced. Her aunt looked at her with a reassuring expression and encouraged Mr. Gardiner to tell them stories of his escapades as a child when he use to torture his older sisters with frogs in their beds or pepper in their tea. He was persuaded by the bright smile on Elizabeth’s face and, with the aid of his charming tales, hours had suddenly gone by and they found themselves passing Netherfield, riding through Meryton, and finally stopping in front of the Bennets’ door.


There they all stood. All six of her relations were waiting for her as well as the Gardiner’s children and all the servants of the house. Jane looked a strange mixture of utter distress and complete happiness, and when their eyes met, Elizabeth burst from the carriage and wrapped her arms around her sister.


“Oh Lizzy, it is a dream, it must be a dream, I do not think I deserve such happiness!” The two sisters dared not separate and suddenly there were several others surrounding them. A hand pulled them apart and Elizabeth abruptly found herself in the arms of her mother.


“My girl has come back to me!” She pushed Elizabeth back and held her by the hands, her face filled with tears, “Now, do not ever do that to me again! Do you understand me, young lady?”


Overwhelmed by such an outburst of emotion from her mother, Elizabeth only nodded before receiving hugs and tearful kisses from her other sisters. Even Lydia was emotional and could not stop jumping up and down every few minutes. “I am so glad you are not dead!” she shrieked at Elizabeth, “It has been so very dreadful here.”


Finally, Mr. Bennet emerged from the back of the crowd and when Elizabeth caught his eye she could barely contain the tears. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and placed a light kiss on her forehead. “It is good to have you back, my dear.” Then as quietly as he came, he turned and went back into the house.


They all went inside where a feast was waiting for them. The three weary travelers were ravenous and ate rather quickly. Mrs. Bennet chattered on and on while they ate, telling them all the important news that occurred while they were gone. The most important she saved until the end.


“Well, of course, the most wonderful thing has happened while you were not with us, Lizzy. Mr. Bingley has returned!” Elizabeth looked up and turned to Jane, whose cheeks colored. “He came back weeks ago; in fact it was he that told us of your demise. He had heard it in London and came here directly after to tell us. He was so concerned and was such a comfort to us, especially our dear Jane. He came every day to visit with us, rain or shine. Such a diligent man, is he not? Oh, I do believe he will be thrilled to hear that you are alive, Lizzy. Yes indeed! And he will not hesitant to offer to Jane, now that we are not in mourning anymore. Oh, I do detest wearing black, although it is ever so becoming on you Lydia…”


Mrs. Bennet continued speaking, but Elizabeth was no longer listening. She smiled with true joy at Jane who shyly rolled her eyes and rose from the table as supper was now finished.


They all moved to the sitting room where the attention was again turned back to Elizabeth who was suddenly inundated with questions.


“Lizzy, uncle’s letter said you were found on a deserted island! How did you live?”


“We made a shelter of sorts from crates and sails.”


“We? What do you mean by we?” asked her mother.


Elizabeth hesitated, “Mr. Darcy, mama, we were the only survivors. He saved my life.”


“Mr. Darcy! Of all people. Well, I suppose it was not very pleasant, such a disagreeable man.”


“On the contrary, he was very kind.”


“What did you eat? Not bugs, I heard they eat bugs on those islands.”


“No, no, we ate crab, fish, and vegetables, and there was plenty of fresh water.”


“What did you do, you much have been dreadfully bored?”


“Not really, Lydia, there was much to do. Each day we had to procure food and prepare it, the shelter was always in need of improvement, I washed our belonging at the waterfall often…”


“A waterfall,” cried Kitty, “That sounds very romantic!”


“Yes, it was rather pretty.”


“Tell us of the sailors that rescued you, were any of them handsome?”


“I dare say a few of them were,” Elizabeth answered with a laugh, “Captain Huskisson is a very good man and his wife and daughter are lovely. I stayed with them in Halifax.”


This continued for the rest of the evening. Each of her younger sisters and her mother asked question after question, all of them fascinated by her adventures. By the end of the evening, both Kitty and Lydia were lamenting that they wished that they could be trapped on a deserted island and be saved by brave sailors.

---

Elizabeth leaned her head back against the door to her room and held her breath as she waited for the sound of footsteps to cease. Her eyes scanned the space before her. Nothing had changed, not even the pile of books next to her bed.


She was home.


A soft knock startled her, causing her to leap forward and turn around rather hurriedly. “Who is it?”


“Jane.” Elizabeth quickly opened the door and grinned freely at her sister.


“Come before the others see you.” She grabbed hold of Jane’s hand and roughly pulled her forward. “I cannot bear any more questions!” She led Jane to her bed and they sat down in unison.


Jane looked down at her hands, picking her nails, “Oh, I see. I should not bother you then,” and she rose to leave.


“Oh Jane! No! Come sit with me, I shall tell you all!” Jane resumed her place next to her sister and took her hands.


“Dearest Lizzy, you must answer me seriously now. Was it dreadful?”


Elizabeth was silent for a moment before smiling somberly. “In the beginning, I must admit, it was. I do not remember much of the storm, but what little I can remember, I wish I did not. There were a few girls I was friendly with on the ship, and I … I saw one of them … after she had died. The next thing I remember is waking up on the beach and Mr. Darcy was there to explain everything.”


Jane turned her head slightly to examine Elizabeth before she dared to ask, “It appears we owe Mr. Darcy a huge debt of gratitude. You seem to think very differently of him now compared to a few months ago.” She leaned forward. “Are you in love with him?”


Elizabeth’s face shot up in complete shock, “Jane!” Her eyes wide, Elizabeth laughed along with her sister.


“Lizzy, I only ask because you speak so little of him. I know you well enough to suppose that if you did not care for him you would have told us more of your time together, but you seemed to have cunningly avoided any details.”


“Jane, Jane, I have never given you enough credit for your study of the human character.” She laughed; Jane only smiled and waited expectantly. “Very well, I admit it, I am, and very much so! Jane, we are engaged!”


“Oh, Lizzy! I thought it to be true! ---engaged to Mr. Darcy! I must congratulate you. But Lizzy, do tell me, it is not because you feel you ought to marry, having been so alone together for all those weeks. Do you really love him quite well enough? Oh, Lizzy, do any thing rather than marry without affection. Are you quite sure that you feel what you ought to do?"


“Oh yes! You will only think I feel more than I ought to do, when I tell you all.”


“What do you mean?”


“Why, I must confess that I love him better than I do your Mr. Bingley. I am afraid you will be angry.”


“My dearest sister, now be serious. I want to talk very seriously. Mr. Bingley is a very kind gentleman and has been very good to us, but he is not ‘my’ Mr. Bingley. I have no expectations from him and he has given me no reason to think I should. Now, tell me every thing that I am to know, without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved your Mr. Darcy.”

"It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from the moment I discovered that he was my knight in sandy armor!”

“Lizzy!”


The sisters laughed through the night as they stayed awake for several hours talking in detail of all of Elizabeth’s adventures. The only displeasure felt was Elizabeth’s as she could not persuade her sister to be as forthcoming as she when speaking of the man she loved.

Tags: fanfic, sanguine
Current Location: same as always
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Martha is on

Chapter 21


Day 31 Continued


Elizabeth sat in quiet contemplation throughout most of supper. She and Mr. Darcy had been separated all day for the first time since they met on board the Jane. For the first time in many weeks she had been alone without knowledge of where he was. He had returned to her only several minutes before supper was served. Her face beamed at the sight of him and she was forced to suppress all feelings of urgent need when she found him standing before her. She only wished to be held and kissed; food and conversation with their hosts were irritating necessities. Taking Darcy’s arm, she begrudgingly sat down with the others and silently spooned her soup.


Darcy sat across from her and eyed her suspiciously, and only when her head rose and their eyes met was he able to procure a smile. He silently vowed to speak privately with her before he left for the night, but he was forced to think of other things by a question from Mrs. Huskisson.


“I beg your pardon, madam?”


“Your cousin, Mr. Darcy, now what does he do?”


“He practices law here in town.”


“I see, and it is with him that you have business?”


“Yes, indeed, he is helping me with some important matters.” He turned to Elizabeth, “I am afraid that I will be busy for most of the day tomorrow and shall not be able to visit with you all again until later in the evening.”


“I understand, Mr. Darcy. May I ask what will keep you away?” Elizabeth tried to mask her disappointment with a warm smile.


Darcy narrowed his eyes rather mischievously while he took a moment to think over his response. “You may ask, Miss Bennet, but you will not receive an answer.” With that, Darcy nonchalantly sipped his wine and turned to his hosts.


Elizabeth’s eyes darkened and her lips pressed together at Darcy’s words. She was about to call her fiancé out for his thoughtlessness when he turned back to her with a curious smile. “Do not fret, Miss Bennet, you will learn of it soon enough. I only wish to keep it from you a little bit longer so when I present you with the knowledge the surprise will have an even greater effect. We men must have our secrets.”


Still quite perturbed at his concealment, Elizabeth feigned indifference. “Then I shall be determined not to think of it. You may try and taunt me if you will, but I will only turn my head and speak to our friends of more important things.” Raising her chin, she did just that. “Captain Huskisson, your wife has promised me a day of shopping on the morrow. Pray, do tell us that we will be accompanied by a bright and warming sun.”


The captain looked up from his soup, rather startled to suddenly be included in the conversation. He first turned to Darcy, who was smiling slightly too fondly at Elizabeth, before turning to her to answer her question. “I am sorry to inform you, Miss Bennet, but I believe tomorrow calls for rain. That shall not impede you, I believe Mrs. Huskisson is quite determined to procure you a new wardrobe and weather cannot hinder my wife, I can assure you.”


Later in the evening, not long before Darcy felt it best for him to leave, both Captain and Mrs. Huskisson were suspiciously called away, and Elizabeth and Darcy found themselves alone. It did not take Darcy’s arms long to find their way around her slim form, and as Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder she let out a distressing sigh.


“Elizabeth, I could not help but notice you seem troubled. Please, tell me your worries and I will do everything in my power to relieve you.”


Elizabeth tilted her head forward; her wide, dark eyes looked weary and tired. Darcy softly pressed his lips to her forehead and then brought his face down to brush his them against her cheek.


“I have missed you,” was her breathy response.


“And I you,” his mouth tickled her ear.


“And you will leave me again tomorrow?”


“I shall. It appears you have been making plans without me anyway. I cannot be needed on a shopping excursion.”


“Perhaps not needed, but most certainly welcome.” Her hands that laid flat on his chest sought the inviting warmth of his face. She cupped her hands on either cheek and looked straight into his eyes. She stared into them for several moments, swallowing before finding the resolve to speak. “Fitzwilliam, I find myself rather in doubt.”


Confusion and alarm flashed through Darcy’s eyes. He released her slightly and peered down at her. “In doubt? What do you doubt? Not I?”


“No, not you. It is my own fears, my own uncertainty. I wish more than anything now to return to England and become your wife, to see my family, but there is so much unknown awaiting me there.”


“What is unknown? Your family will be overjoyed at your return, we will be married as soon as legally possible, and you will love Pemberley as much as everyone there will love you. What more is there to know?”


“Fitzwilliam, please, it is more complicated than that. I only worry…”


Before Elizabeth could continue, voices could be heard in the hall. With a chaste kiss on the lips, they separated to different couches and tried to appear calm as Emele appeared in the doorway.


“Well! I do hope that you had enough time, I was terribly bored up there!” she exclaimed before seating herself down near Elizabeth.


The visit from Mr. Darcy ending shortly after, allowing neither he nor Elizabeth a chance to continue their conversation. He bowed politely as he made to leave and took her hand gently before pressing it slowly to his lips. Elizabeth watched him with anxiety, feeling a sudden sense of foreboding and wishing desperately to cling to him. There was nothing to be done for it however, and after promising most profusely to visit the following evening, he was gone.

---

The next day, Elizabeth spent the morning hours sitting with Emele as she received several visitors interested in meeting her new guest. Elizabeth was all politeness and charm, although she felt a strange and desperate need to leave the house throughout all the idle conversation happening around her.


After tea, the ladies set out for the shops. While the idea of buying new clothes would normally appeal to Elizabeth, this particular outing did not bring out the usual excitement at the prospect of such an excursion. Determined to enjoy herself, and to also prove that she could in fact get through the day without Darcy’s company, Elizabeth widen her smile and delved into the world of ribbons, patterns and fabrics.


After several hours, the exhausted pair decided to return home. As they did so, they passed a bookshop and Elizabeth decided to step inside with the hopes of finding something to help passed the time in her temporary home. As she reached the threshold of the entrance, her eye was caught by the window display. As a result, the couple exiting the shop, also distracted by conversation, walked directly into her.


“Oh my, I do beg your pardon, Miss!” said the lady. Elizabeth did not respond but only stared, her mouth and her eyes opened wide at the sight before her.


“Aunt!” she cry out, wells of tears forming in her eyes.


“Lizzy! It cannot be! Is it so, is it really so?” Mrs. Gardiner hands were brought to Elizabeth’s face and the women shared an embrace.


“It is so! And you are here! How have you come? To find you here in Halifax! It is a dream!” Elizabeth’s hand reached out to her uncle, who joined his wife in reception of a niece they believed long lost at sea.


Mr. Gardiner gestured for the ladies to move away from the shop before speaking, “We arrived in Halifax several weeks ago in hopes of finding you. It has been six days now since we learned of the wreck of the Jane and our hopes were dashed. We sent a letter to your father as soon as we heard and prepared ourselves for a dismal return back to England. But Elizabeth, do tell us, how is it that our deepest wish has come true?”


“My dear uncle, there is so much to tell! Let us not begin here. Emele,” Elizabeth reached for her friend’s arm, “Let me introduce you to my uncle and aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.”


“It is a pleasure to meet any relations of Elizabeth’s, especially on this side of the ocean.”


Elizabeth continued, “And this is my friend, Mrs. Huskisson. Her husband, Captain Huskisson, is the one you should be thanking, for it was he and his crew that brought me here.”


“Oh, Lizzy, is it true, you were on the Jane then?”


“Yes, Aunt, but let us save the details for tea.”


The four elated friends returned to the Huskisson’s home where, once settled and composed, Elizabeth told them her story. They were shocked at every description, gratified for the heroism of Mr. Darcy, and proud of their resilient niece. Elizabeth did not speak of her engagement to Mr. Darcy; she wished to share the news with them together with her fiancé. After several more tears, embraces and exclamations of happiness, it was the Gardiners turn to tell their tale.


Mrs. Gardiner began, “Well, Lizzy, Mr. Gardiner learned of your departure from England several days after your ships left Scotland. Your father came to London in search of you and it was quickly decided that your uncle and I would travel here with the intention of bringing you home.” She paused to take Elizabeth’s hand and sighed before continuing, “The journey was a rough one. We left about a week after you and therefore did not encounter the full force of the storm, but it was violent enough to keep me ill throughout most of it. The voyage took much longer than anticipated and when we arrived at Prince Edward Island we were fearful that your own travels had already taken you far from us. Little did we know how far! There was no news of your ship’s arrival and finally we decided to travel to Halifax in hopes of reports from there. Elizabeth, you cannot know the grief we felt when we heard of the wreck. We were told by many that there were no survivors. Small boats of several passengers from the ship were found, but none were alive. It was a dreadful time for us.” Mrs. Gardiner let out a small cry as she began to weep at the memory.


Mr. Gardiner patted her shoulder and continued for his wife, “Elizabeth, it hardly seems real that you are here. We spoke to so many that assured us that there was no hope. We own a debt of gratitude to both Mr. Darcy and Captain Huskisson.”


“Mr. Darcy will return here this evening. You may speak to him then.”


Mr. Gardiner smile brightly, “Splendid! We are fortunate to meet him before we depart.”


“Whatever do you mean?” asked Elizabeth.


“When we arrived in Halifax we purchased our passage home, yours included. We had great hopes in finding you and we understood that procuring a way home would be more difficult than it was coming here. We leave in the morning.”

---

Chapter 22


Day 32 continued


Elizabeth sat stunned; an expression of alarm washed over her face. All the jovial pink in her cheeks disappeared as her mind raced.


“So soon?”


“I am afraid so, my dear. The passages have already been secured. If we do not leave tomorrow, we will not only lose the money that has been paid, but we will also have to wait several weeks before we can acquire spaces on another ship. You do see that it is necessary?” Mr. Gardiner spoke warmly, but with a hint of confusion.


Elizabeth swallowed weakly and nodded before giving her aunt and uncle a sweet, if not sincere, smile.


“Do you know if there are any more spaces available on the ship, I am sure Mr. Darcy is anxious to return home as well?”


“I dare say he is,” spoke up her aunt, placing a hand over hers, “I am sure his family is as concerned about him as we all were of you. He has a much younger sister, if I remember correctly, she must be devastated.”


“Yes, Georgiana, she is sixteen.”


“Oh! He spoke to you of her,” Mrs. Gardiner’s eyes narrowed, and after a quick glance at her husband, she continued, “You and Mr. Darcy must have had much time to converse on a number of things. You were much alone together.” Her voice lowered, “Did anything of significance occur during that time, Lizzy?”


Elizabeth’s eyes widened and her face colored briefly before she composed herself enough to answer. “Oh no! Mr. Darcy was the perfect gentleman!” She sighed, secretly glad that Mrs. Huskisson had excused herself only moments before, “It should hardly signify anyhow, my virtue was compromised in the eyes of society long ago.”


“Lizzy, dear, you do not know what has occurred since you left; therefore you cannot believe all hope is lost. As far as anyone is aware, you are visited relations here. The past, I am sure, is forgotten. Even your mother only wishes for you to return home safely.”


A short laugh gasped from Elizabeth’s lips. “Now I know that cannot be true! Come now, aunt, you do not expect me to believe that!”


Here, her uncle came forward. “Elizabeth, I know my sister may seem cruel at times, but believe me when I say that she loves you as she loves all her children and does not wish you harm. In fact, all her scheming was meant with kindness and hope for a secure future for you all. Her heart may have been misdirected, but it was her heart that has always led her actions.”


Before any of their discussions could continue, Mrs. Huskisson returned with Clara in her arms. No more talk of virtue or Mrs. Bennet could continue while the little child and her mother entertained their guests with a curious style of song. In a language foreign to Elizabeth and her friends, Clara sang in a pleasing and light style for such a young girl while her mother repeated the words in a sort of echo. The beauty of the sound forced the troubles in Elizabeth’s mind away as she became more and more engrossed in the music. (1)


“Oh how wonderful!” cried Mrs. Gardiner when the song was complete, “You must tell us more about this music. I do not believe I have ever heard it before.”


Mrs. Huskisson smiled, “It would be my pleasure. It is the music of my mother’s people; they are countrymen, unconcerned with the rest of the world. Except my mother, of course, who became very concern with a handsome gentleman from Paris, my father. My mother left the country, but the country never left her and she taught me their music as her mother taught her, and as I now teach my Clara.”


“It is very beautiful, perhaps you could teach me?” asked Elizabeth, and her wish was granted. For several hours the happy party entertained each other in harmonious song.


Hardly before anyone was aware, it was almost time for supper. The Gardiners were invited to stay and Elizabeth retreated to her room with her aunt, while Mr. Gardiner spoke earnestly with Captain Huskisson about the local fishing industry in the study.


As Elizabeth gathered together the few items that she could call her own, Mrs. Gardiner eyed her suspiciously. “Lizzy, you appear to be a little nervous, might I ask why?”


Elizabeth laughed lightly, either because of her nerves or in spite of them. “Perhaps I am only a little tired. It has been a rather eventful day, would you not agree?”


“Yes, dear.” Unconvinced, Mrs. Gardiner decided not to voice her concerns further for now.


Elizabeth knew not why should could not share her engagement with Mr. Darcy with her aunt. She dearly wished to, and although it is not proper to expose the agreement before Mr. Bennet has been appeal to, surely her aunt would be soul of discretion. Perhaps there was a piece of her that doubted the marriage would actually occur. It was difficult for her to believe she deserved such happiness after all that had occured. She was concerned about the time and distance that they would spend apart before he returned to England. “Oh, you foolish, headstrong girl! Fitzwilliam is coming tonight and he will reassure me. We will tell aunt and uncle then.”


But he did not come. Not for supper, although she was told not to expect that, not after the meal while they sang songs and Elizabeth played piano by candlelight, and not even at that late hour when the Gardiners insisted that they must return to their rooms in order to prepare for their journey the following morning. She had put on a brave face when in company; although it was easy to deceive a good-humored group of friends who quite forgot that a Mr. Darcy was suppose to call.


Elizabeth was distraught. “Why did he not come?” She chastised herself for not sending a note to his cousin’s home when she first learned that she was leaving, but she fully expected to see him and thought it not necessary. Now it was too late in the night and she dared not disturb the Huskissons’ servants now.


Lying in her bed, she slept not a moment. Scenarios flashed through her mind - Darcy dead by the hands of a thief, Darcy in the arms of another woman, Darcy caught in the storm that passed through and unable to reach her. The last seemed the most probable, but still her mind was not at ease. She vowed to write to him at first light begging him to come to her before she left.


As the sun barely rose through the gray clouds hovering melancholy in the sky, Elizabeth rose and quickly penned the letter.


“Fitzwilliam,


Excuse my brief words, but there is not much time. My uncle, Mr. Gardiner, is here with my aunt in Halifax and insists on returning to England today. We leave in mere moments as the ship departs at an early hour. I had not the time nor the inclination to tell them of our engagement as I had expect you last evening, but you did not come! I have no choice but to leave you without saying goodbye and can only hope that you may receive this in time to come to the ship before we leave.


Please, Fitzwilliam, come! Come quickly!


Your's, &c”


The letter was dispatched discretely by a young servant Elizabeth stopped in the hall outside her room. The Gardiners arrived only moments later and Elizabeth met them near the entrance hall, a servant following behind with her small bag of belongings. Mrs. Huskisson emerged along with the Captain holding a very sleepy Clara in his arms.


“Why are you leaving so soon?” asked the little girl in a drowsy, irritated voice.


“I am so sorry, dear little Clara, but I must return home to my family. Perhaps one day you will come to England and I may see you again. Will you write to me?” asked Elizabeth, knowing quite well the young child was still learning her letters.


“I will send you some drawings of Halifax so you will not forget it. Or us!”


“That would be perfect.” Elizabeth kissed the child’s damp cheek.


She turned to her generous friends, “I cannot express my gratitude in full degree for all that you both have done. I know not where I would be without you!” exclaimed Elizabeth with some emotion. The Captain took her hand and Mrs. Huskisson embraced her gently.


With a tearful wave goodbye, Elizabeth joined the Gardiners in the carriage and prepared herself to leave Halifax forever.

---

At half past six in the morning a letter arrived at the home of Mr. Frederick Darcy. The servant that received the letter did not deliver it directly to his master as he had arrived home quite late in the night and did not wish to be disturbed. It was not exactly clear that the letter was addressed to “Mr. Frederick Darcy” as the direction was written remarkably ill, but the servant knew not who else it could be for. The letter was place on his master’s desk.


There it sat along with many other unopened letters, some weeks old. Frederick Darcy was not known for his organizational talents and he often discarded letters when the hand looked unfamiliar to him. Therefore, several weeks later, when he did open the letter, he was shocked and immediately wrote to his cousin, enclosing the enlightening correspondence. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy had left for England in a bleak and troubled frame of mind only a few days before.



1. I do not know much about it, but the style of music Clara and Emele sang is traditional Breton music called “kan ha diskan” where each line is repeated by the second singer, who begins at the last few syllable of the first signer. If done right, the song moves forward in a rather haunting way. It is similar, in a way, to what we call in English “rounds.”

Tags: fanfic, sanguine
Current Mood: anxious

I just wanted all those who are interested to know that I have written most of Chapter 21 of Sanguine. It has been a busy time for me, and I only expect it to get busier as the year comes to a close. So I ask all my readers to be patient in waiting for chapters to be written and posted. I'm the kind of writer that needs to let my work sit for a bit before I can go back to it and proofread it and then post. So I hope to post it by the end of the week.

I'm so excited by the interest in my story though, I've gotten requests at both DWG and HG so someday, whenever I finish this thing, I'll revise it and put it up at both places.

Keep reading and I promise I'll finish it.

:)

Tags: fanfic, sanguine
Current Location: In the middle of a pile of Christmas decorations
Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Hear ye! Hear ye! Hyacinth Gardens is officially taking newbies!!! Woohoo! Finally! Seems like a pretty cool place, I’m still checking it out.

So go on over and register!

Tags: fanfic, links
Current Mood: excited

So I tried to write a drabble. Everyone has different ideas of what one is, but I'm keeping it under 200 words.

I call it "Gravity"

Her back was to him, her head turned away while her body sat rigged in the chair. His fist lay clenched, the knuckles digging into the corner of the table. He stood close to her, bent over in agitation, waiting for her to look back at him.

His eyes were drawn to her jaw, the tightened muscles supporting the furious frown. Her long neck stretched in an effort to move away from him. Her curvy chest heaved, mocking him, as her breath quickened the longer he stared.

Finally, a sigh escaped him. She turned to him quickly. Lips parted, eyes met in anger; and for a moment, a brief but bittersweet moment, there was confusion and unforeseen lust. Then, just as suddenly, pride had the upper hand.

“Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness."

His boots stamped at the floor. His coat billowed and clung at the door before he slammed it shut.

With her fingers at her lips, she remembered to breath.

---

Also, I found a few new fanfic sites of interest.

A Happier Alternative - Four authors, who I believe also post on Hyacinth Garden (I wouldn't actually know because, well, you know...), have their own site. Most of it is for readers over 18. Some of it is very good.

Spot Fiction - One of the creators of this mainly scififanfic site has a bunch of JA fics as well. I haven't read them yet, although they look interesting and I think I've seen at least one of her stories elsewhere.

Enjoy!

Tags: drabble, fanfic, links
Current Location: Near the fridge
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Current Music: shhhh...

Chapter 20


Day 31 continued


Mr. Frederick Darcy was sitting behind his desk in his office. The small room was lined with bookshelves and sat in one of the front rooms of a building in the center of Halifax, above a cobbler’s shop. His eyes were squinted and his mouth hung open slightly as he stared overtly at the figure of his cousin standing before him.


Frederick was a distant cousin of Fitzwilliam and Georgiana Darcy. He had the unfortunate fate of being the third son of a very wealthy man; therefore he grew up with all the enjoyment of wealth and without the promise of its continuation once he became of age. Being the middle child of five he was also often ignored by both parents and his siblings. His eldest brother, Henry, was always with his father, being groomed to take over the estate. His other brother, Walter, a very reserved boy growing up, became a powerful Major General in the army. His sisters, twins, were 8 years younger than him and while they loved their amusing older brother, he was nothing compared to their generous father.


During his younger days, he was sent off to visit with relatives with the hope he would find some interest in a career, in the same way a young woman would be sent off to find a husband. He was never very welcome in any of these homes, save Pemberley. His cousin, Fitzwilliam Darcy, was only a year younger than him and while their characters were very different, they had become close friends. It was Fitzwilliam that suggested the law and without many other options before him, Frederick chose to follow the same course as his grandfather.


For the first time in his life, Frederick Darcy had the support and attention of his family; but soon after, his father passed away and his life on his own began. It was then that he did what no one in the family would ever want or expect him to do. He announced that he was going to marry his sisters’ governess, a poor, young Irish girl named Fiona and that they were moving to the other side of the world. Within several months they were settled in Halifax, and several years later Frederick’s only remaining contact with his family perished in a wreck on his way to visit him. Or so he thought.


Somehow Fitzwilliam Darcy was standing before him, as alive as he ever was, with a relieved smile stretched across his face.


“Good God, Fitzwilliam, if you are a ghost I hope you have come to tell me where my father buried my copy of Fanny Hill.”


“How do you know he buried it? If anything, I suspect he had it buried with him.” Darcy held out his hand, “I am quite alive, cousin, and I am sorry that I am late.”


“Oh, it is only a few weeks, but Fitzwilliam, I do not understand! All reports seemed to indicate that you were lost at sea!” Frederick ignored Darcy’s outstretched hand and wrapped his arms around his cousin.


“Yes, the reports were correct, I was lost for some time, but we were found several weeks ago by a passing ship and arrived in Halifax only this morning.”


“We?”


“Yes, Miss Bennet and I spent several weeks on a remote island…”


“Well, now, this story ought to be good!” Frederick picked up his hat. “Come, let us walk to my townhouse, Fiona will want to hear this one.”


The Darcys’ townhouse was located several blocks from the law office and the cousins did not have a long walk before they were at its door. Along the way, Frederick told Darcy of his family and of his life in Nova Scotia. Darcy spoke very little, saving his tale for the seclusion of his cousin’s home. His thoughts often turned to Elizabeth and he wondered what she was doing at that moment. As they crossed the threshold into the home, Darcy was shaken out of his reverie as Frederick called out rather crudely to his wife.


“Fiona! Fiona!” He yelled louder as he shrugged out of his coat. “Fiona, you will never guess what I found today!”


An equally loud but sweeter voice, with the hint of an Irish drawl, came from upstairs, “Frederick? What are you doing home so early?” A moment later, a very pretty woman with dark hair, pale skin, and a small frame floated down the stairs. There was a look of surprise when her eyes met Darcy’s, but it was accompanied by an affectionate grin. She kissed her husband’s cheek and asked, “And who is your friend?”


“This is my cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy,” Frederick answered with a sly smile in anticipation of her reaction. He was not disappointed, Fiona’s eyes opened wide and she quite abruptly exclaimed, “No!” before composing herself and inviting the gentlemen to sit in the parlor while she ordered some refreshments.


Upon her return, Frederick had procured his own idea of midmorning fare and poured his wife and cousin a glass of port before refilling his own glass.


“Frederick! That is quite enough! I apologize, Mr. Darcy, it is certainly not our custom to indulge ourselves in such a way so early in the day.”


“Hogwash Fiona, it most certainly is! At least it is for me, for you do not have to be in constant dealings with shady merchantmen and immoral sailors. But enough of that. Come now, Fitzwilliam, tell us your tale; and do not leave one bit out.”


At this request, Darcy began his story. Contrary to Frederick’s word, Darcy did leave a few bits out in order to protect their opinion of Elizabeth. He did tell them of their engagement and promised to introduce her as soon as his business was concluded. At the end of his speech, Frederick and Fiona sat stunned and did not respond at first. Finally, after a long minute of uncharacteristic silence, Frederick spoke, “Well, Fitzwilliam, if I did not know you better, I would accuse you of telling me falsehoods. That cannot be however, you are too honorable for that. God knows why. What confounds me is that you were trapped alone on a deserted island with a beautiful woman for several weeks and you managed to keep your hands off of her. I know if that had occurred to Fiona and me in the early staged of our, shall we say, ‘courtship,’ I do not think she would have left the island as pure as your Miss Bennet.”


At this, Fiona cried out in disgust at her husband’s comments, and in embarrassment, excused herself to see to the baby. Darcy did not respond, but colored slightly and placed the back of his hand to his mouth to hide his discomfit. He spoke after Frederick’s calls of mock apology to his wife quieted down.


“You should not speak so of your wife, Frederick,” Darcy said in hopes of disguising his thoughts with his usual gentlemanly concern.


“It is how I always speak of my wife when in the company of friends, Fiona has never cared before. Perhaps your proper speech intimidated her into modesty, I cannot know. They are queer ones, those Irish, quite pretty though!” Darcy did not laugh along with his cousin, but his expression became grave. “Oh Fitzwilliam, you must cease with the Darcy gloom, it does very little for your wellbeing. Fiona knows I speak in jest, I daresay she must be used to my ways by now. If fact, she was quite used to it when she accepted me and she still agreed to accompany me to the other side of the world. Fiona may be more subdued than I in temperament, but that does not mean she lacks affection for my excitable ways. We balance each other, you see, and we are quite happy.”


Frederick paused to sip his port and then leaned forward and spoke in a quite but prodding tone, “Now, tell me more of your lady, I must know more of the woman that trapped my cousin’s heart. And do not tell me you merely proposed to her to save her reputation. I cannot bear to see in you a marriage as loveless as our both our parents’ were.”


Darcy nodded in understanding and then smiled slightly before answering, “No, I marry for love, Fitzwilliam, by your influence. I have loved Miss Bennet for many months, long before our adventures began. We met last fall, in Hertfordshire, while I was staying at the Netherfield estate recently let by my old friend Charles Bingley. You remember Bingley, he is the one you convinced to fall in love with Lady Margaret, who is more than fifteen years his senior.”


“Ah, yes, the boy you got into Cambridge. Pleasant fellow, although he is a bit daft at times. How is he now? You still watching out for him? You do take your father’s instructions rather too seriously.”


“Yes, well, Bingley is quite his own man now, although he is no more successful with members of the opposite sex. He is trying to settle on an estate, but finds himself easily distracted by a pretty face. He fancied himself in love with the eldest Miss Bennet, and naturally I felt I had to rescue him from folly yet again. Only, I misjudge the situation; it appears Bingley finally found a woman that returned his affections. Unfortunately the damage is already done and I do not know if I can remedy it.”


Frederick picked up the bottle to his side and refilled Darcy’s glass without asking. “Perhaps it is time to let go of that obligation and let Bingley make his own decisions for once. If his heart was truly in it, he would have secured the girl. I cannot imagine running away from a woman I love simply because you tell me to.”


“Ah, but you and Bingley are quite different in that respect. Bingley has been hurt too many times to trust himself. You were blessed with your first attempt and you cannot know the bitterness of rejection.”


“Perhaps, but no more of Bingley and his sad tale, I want to hear more of your blissful one.”


“There is not much more to say. I left Hertfordshire for London before the winter without considering ever seeing the Bennets again. I contacted you not long after about an excursion here in order to inquire about that property you wrote to me about, and I met Miss Elizabeth Bennet on the ship. I believe I told you the rest.”


“You know very well that is not what you believe!” exclaimed Frederick, “Why was Miss Bennet on the ship? How did you convince her to accept you? Why is she not with you now?”


Darcy sighed and slowly sipped his port. It was always very difficult to hide his thoughts from his cousin. Frederick’s casual treatment of the exposure of one’s feelings was always frightening but also appealing to Darcy. Speaking with Frederick about anything always felt rather liberating once one developed the courage to speak with candor.


“Miss Bennet did not always care for me.” This confession raised his cousin’s eyebrows. “It seems I offended her in several ways in the early stages of our acquaintance, and probably in the later stages as well. On the island we… we learned to get past our differences. We became honest with each other and I confessed my feelings for her, in several ways.” Darcy briefly glanced at his cousin who displayed a rather devious smile. “After several hours of explanation and encouragement and a night to think on it, she agreed to have me. It is all quite miraculous really.” He cleared his throat in an act of relief. “We were saved that very day.”


“Extraordinary!”


“Yes. Miss Bennet is now at the residence of Captain Huskisson while I tend to some business. We are to travel back to England at some point in the near future. I have come to you to ask that assist me in several matters, including the best way to travel.”


Frederick laughed a little before he responded, “Eager are you? Well, your options are rather limited. I know there is a passenger ship leaving either tomorrow or the next day, I do not remember when exactly.”


“No, I need more time than that. Perhaps in a week or so?”


“I am afraid it may be difficult. At these times, passenger ships are not as frequent as they once were. I will see what is available. Perhaps your Captain friend can help you more there. As for your other business, I have heard just yesterday that the land I wrote to you of has been purchased. I am sorry for that, but you should have been saved a few days earlier. It is no matter, there are a few other prospects you should consider.”


“Yes, actually, I have one in particular in mind.”


“Is that so? Well, let us return to my office, it is best to speak of these matters there. The meddling servants will get quite bored eavesdropping on this conversation before long.”

---

A/n - Sorry for the delay but I’ve been quite busy lately. As you may have guessed, Frederick Darcy is the grandson of the great uncle, the judge, which Caroline referred to in Ch. 10 of P&P. And if you are interested, although it’s not really important to the story, in my mind Fiona was born to an Irish father and an English mother, neither one from money or connections. A wealthy maternal relative (some uncle made it big in trade or something) decided to take pity on her and had her sent to school in England. Like Jane Eyre, Fiona had the gumption to take her fate into her own hands and decided to become a governess. She worked for the Darcys (Frederick’s parents) for two years before Frederick stopped chasing the fine ladies of the ton and realized that he had been in love with her the whole time. She, of course, had been in love with him from the start and would have followed him to India or Australia or anywhere he asked her to, as long as he married her and treated her as his equal.

Tags: fanfic, sanguine
Current Location: waiting for the heat to turn on
Current Mood: restless

At the beginning of the summer I started reading The Chronicles of Narnia during my lunch hours. Since I only work part time, I knew that it was going to take me a while to get through the series but I wanted it that way because I wanted to savor it. Well, I finally finished them last week and I just feel incredibly sad, like a bunch of my close friends have moved away. I really loved these books; they had an effect on me that not many books do.

I decided to read the books in chronological order after taking a survey from people who had read them. I was already familiar with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as I had seen the movie a number of times and read the book when I was younger. I’ll respond to each book.

1. The Magician's Nephew: I was ecstatic when I found out there was a prequel to LWW and I thought it was equally mystical and comical and a great introduction to Narnia, the Witch, and of course, Aslan. It cleared up a few questions and also began my realization that Lewis has influence many an author.

2. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe: Just as magical and inspiring as it was the first time I read it. I think I understand why there was some criticism about Lewis’ treatment of women, but I really don’t agree. I read it as ironic not chauvinist.

3. The Horse and His Boy: This was an interesting inclusion in the Narnia series as it seemed to have little to do with the other characters, but I found I loved it anyway. As much as I love the Pevensies, I was equally intrigued Shasta and Bree and after I read it I decided it was my favorite and didn’t think it could get better.

4. Prince Caspian: While I definitely liked the story, I wanted to like it more, I think I rushed through it in the hopes that it would get better. Still, I loved the new characters, Reepicheep especially.

5. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: Now that I’ve read them all, I have to say that this is definitely my favorite of the series. Perhaps it is my fondness for nautical stories and journey tales, or maybe it was because I read this one when on vacation, I don’t know, but I found myself visualizing this story very clearly and think it may make the most visually stimulating movie of all the possible movies. This story really calls for your imagination to work hard and I love that. I might read that one again, plus I really love Eustace, I can’t help it.

6. The Silver Chair: I was a little sad when I started this one because I could feel the series winding down. I miss Lucy terribly and Jill was no substitute. I did love the sarcasm, at the beginning especially. I expected more out of it, but that may be because I had just finish VDT and not much could compare. Still, I enjoyed it, the ending especially.

7. The Last Battle: I cried at the end, really I did. I started to choke up when Reepicheep came out but when Tumnus appeared I really did cry. As a whole I felt the story was a bit too allegorical but I got the message and felt that as a book for children I think it is a wonderful way to introduce the topic of death. My only complaint would be the treatment of Susan, although I do believe that after the loss of her entire family she would learn to get over her love of lipstick, but that’s a harsh punishment for vanity.

I really did love it, sometimes more than others. I will forever envy Lucy in character, spirit and innocence.


I’ve started reading Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell and so far I love it.

I’ve also listened to Journey to the Center of the Earth recently. I like it, although I thought it ended rather abruptly, I thought they would encounter more creatures or something. I’ve never seen any of the movies, although I suspect if they stuck to the original plot, which it doesn’t look like any of them did, it would be a little boring. The excitement in the book seems to work better on the page.

After that I listened to King Solomon’s Mines, which was ok. I found myself losing interested at some parts but by the end I was really into it. Obviously Captain Good was a fantastic creation with his white legs and firmly placed monocle. I’m sure it would make a good film, although I haven’t seen any of them.

I also listened to Emma, which I haven’t read in years. I think the reasons why I didn’t like it as much as P&P or Persuasion is that I’m probably a bit more like Emma than I would want to me. Plus, I get that Miss Bates was suppose to be annoying, but I got it a little bit too much and almost fast forwarded through her. I guess I just never felt bad for or loved anyone in the story, not Emma because she always got what she wanted without really learning any lessons (you really think she’s going to stop matchmaking!), not Mr. Knightly because his way of showing his love is to criticize and I don’t find that attractive although I get why he did it (that makes him too much like my mother), not Frank Churchill because, well, he’s a dumbass, but maybe Jane Fairfax, although we don’t really know that much about her. I don’t know, I guess I will continue to feel so-so about this one.

Then I read Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town by Stephen Leacock, and it takes place in a small town in Canada around the turn of the century and I really loved it. It’s a quick read and I love any story with a jumble of crazy, interesting characters that make you laugh. The best part was the story of Peter Pupkin and his numerous suicide attempts and his heroic attempt to stop a nonexistent bank robber. Good stuff.

I just started listening to Silas Marner, which I’m already very into and can’t wait to continue.

Tags: books, narnia, reviews
Current Location: Somewhere cold
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Current Music: Ghost Hunters in on in the background

A/n – Woohoo, I got this chapter done faster than I thought I would! I also thought I’d give you all the information I have about the real Barbados and its captain. Despite the fact that the ship and its captain were real, I am taking many liberties with them in this story.


The Barbados, also spelled Barbadoes, number 28 was a French privateer originally named Braave and was taken on March 16, 1803 by Capt. Frederick Maitland in Loire. Braave was purchased by the merchants of Barbados and presented to the Government. She was commissioned as a post ship by Capt. Joseph Nourse and he sailed on his first cruise on October 13, 1804. On the fourth day of his cruise, he took the French privateer ship Napoleon of 18 guns and 150 men after a chase of 13 hours, and in November he captured the French privateer sloop Heureux. She was nine days out of Guadeloupe and had made no captures. Her ten 6-pounders were thrown overboard during the chase. The Spanish brig Esta, laden with tallow was taken in December. An English Guineaman laden with slaves was recaptured during January 1805. On April 8, in sight of the island of Barbados, the French privateer schooner Desiree was taken. Carrying fourteen guns and a crew of 71 men, she had left Guadeloupe four days earlier but had made no captures. She was decoyed within musket shot and seven men were killed and wounded on board her when she returned fire.


1811 Capt. B. Hodgson. Later in the year Capt. Edward Rushworth, off Cherbourg. At the beginning of September Barbadoes and Goshawk were sent to intercept seven French brigs, each armed with 3 long 24-pounders and a mortar, near the Calvados Rocks off Normandy. Barbadoes drove one of them ashore on the 7th and the following day they were joined by Hotspur. She grounded as she came within gun-shot and, although she sank some of the enemy and drove two others ashore, she lost 3 killed and 22 wounded from fire from batteries, field guns and the brigs. Barbadoes and Goshawk assisted as best they could with boats and hawsers. On September 30th Mr. Mustard, the carpenter, was tried by court martial for being intoxicated three times while watching the enemy off Cherbourg. He was dismissed from his office and banned from serving as an officer again.


1812 Capt. Thomas HUSKISSON, June 12, who removed from Garland. With Polephemus he acted as escort to a convoy of merchantmen in August and on the 22nd captured the U.S. revenue schooner James Madison, commanded by George Brooks, with 10 guns mounted and a complement of 65 men, after a chase of 7 hours some 200 miles off South Carolina. The schooner, from Savannah, had been hovering about the outskirts of the convoy waiting to attack the rear of the fleet. A few days afterwards Barbadoes lost her top-masts and main-yard in a violent hurricane which separated her from the convoy. She made her way to Bermuda to refit. While sailing to Halifax with three small vessels under convoy, Barbadoes and two of the vessels struck on the N.W. bar of Sable Island during the night of September 28, 1812 and were wrecked. The boats were stove in by the heavy surf before half the crew had been landed and she was smashed to pieces within 48 hours but only one man lost his life. Barbadoes had been carrying 60,000 dollars for the Halifax Dockyard, this was saved by attaching a buoy to each of the cases. The vessel which escaped took the news to Halifax and 12 days later they were rescued by Shannon and a schooner. The loss was blamed on an extraordinary and uncertain state of currents.


Captain Huskisson was a very successful officer in the Royal Navy in both France against Napoleon and in the Caribbean during the War of 1812 and beyond. Here’s a timeline of his actions that I know of:
1808 to May 1809 – Lieutenant on the Fleur-de-la-Mer, ordered to command the schooner off the coast of San Domingo
May 1809 to February 1810 – Promoted to Captain of the Pelorus, which along with the Hazard captured a privateer schooner while on guard duty near the bay of Point-a-Petre
February to July 1810 – Captain of the Blonde
November 1810 – Captain of the Pelorus again
March 1811 to June 1812 – Promoted to post rank and removed to the Garland
June to September 1812 – Captain of the Barbados.
June 1815 – Captain of the Euryalus near the Seine to prevent Napoleon’s escape.
July 1818 to May 1820 – Captain of the Euryalus again in the Caribbean and appointed Commodore of a squadron in November 1819.
May to June 1820 – Sent to Jamaica under Sir Home Popham
June 1820 – Again appointed Commodore of a squadron in the Caribbean after Sir Home returns to England and dies.
December 1820 – Returns home due to ill heath
November 1821 – Flag Captain of the Semiramis
June 1833 – Son Thomas, midshipman on Cordellia, died at Malta, age 18.

All information from “Ships of the Old Navy: A history of the sailing ships of the Royal Navy” by Michael Phillips. Google it and you’ll find it.

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Chapter 19


Days 19 through 30


Over the next several days Elizabeth and Darcy enjoyed a quiet and uneventful journey. At times the wind worked against them and they would scarcely travel more than 40 miles, but other days it appeared that the stars were aligned in their favor and the Barbados would well make up for lost time. Over the 12 day voyage across the ocean to Halifax they hardly took notice of the weather or of any of the others on the ship, save Captain Huskisson. They generally ate their meals with the officers but were more often than not ignored and happily conversed amongst themselves. During the days and evenings they met on deck to walk about and discuss their future, share stories from their childhood or laugh about their past foolishness.


But at night, alone in her cabin, Elizabeth was lonely and fearful of what would occur once they returned to England. She tossed and turned, stayed up late making slippers from scraps of fabric, tried to concentrate on a novel borrowed from the captain, or just lied awake vowing to discuss her concerns with Darcy the following day. Then, in the bright and cheery sun of the morning, her anxieties would be washed away and she would greet her fiancé with a truly joyful smile. It was far too difficult to be fearful of anything when she found him smiling back at her; he was all comfort and reassurance.


The day they arrived in Halifax, they walked down the dock arm in arm mindful of the curious looks of others but focused on each other and in high spirits. While Darcy was able to procure a new set of clothing from one of the officers on the ship, Elizabeth was not so fortunate. Under the oversized coat that hung like drapery over her shoulders was the same dress she wore the day she arrived at Sanguine Island. She longed for a proper bath and a change of garment, but knew it would come in time. She gazed at the perfectly dress gentleman at her side and smiled to herself as she recalled his costume from the weeks before. She had certainly become used to his short sleeves hanging loosely open at the collar and his tan legs being bare below the knee. He turned and caught her devious expression and only raised an eyebrow before lightly shaking his head.


They were paused on the dock when Captain Huskisson and several of the other officers, including Lieutenant Warwick, joined them. They said their awkward goodbyes, several of the men barely looked at them as they bowed. Warwick surprisingly held out his hand to Darcy, who took it with some apprehension but with no less civility.


As Huskisson led them away from the pier and through town Darcy murmured to Elizabeth, “I will never understand that man, at every turn his actions were so peculiar, it is as if he is never sure the proper way to conduct himself.”


“I think, perhaps, you are correct. Although it is no matter, we shall never see him again.”


“And I am glad for it!”


They walked through the busy marketplace, past stands of people selling fruit, store windows with displays of imported goods from England, France and places as far away as India, as well as hordes of sailors walking about. Elizabeth’s eyes darted round at every sight and she was quite amused at all the splendid things. It did not take long to traverse past the crowds and they quickly made their way to a calmer part of town.


Captain Huskisson turned to speak with them as they walked, “As you can see it can get quite busy here, although things seemed to have quieted down a bit since trade with the United States has ceased. More soldiers and fewer businessmen it appears.” He stopped them in front of a modest three-story home with a garden to its right and the face of a small dark-haired girl in the window. “Here we are. Welcome to my home.”


It was not long before the face in the window disappeared and came running through the front door yelling, “Papa!” and into Huskisson’s arms. She was followed by a tall, graceful looking woman, smiling prettily at her husband. “Thomas” said the woman with only a hint of a French accent, “You are home.” She held out her hands and kissed his cheek, “And who are your friends,” she turned to Elizabeth and Darcy, eyeing them curiously.


“Emele, I would like to introduce you to Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Miss Bennet will be staying with us for a while until she travels back to England.”


“It is a pleasure to meet you both,” her smile was warm and inviting, “You must be hungry and tired, please come in and have tea.”


“I thank you for your kindness, Mrs. Huskisson, but I unfortunately must take my leave. I have urgent business here in town and I do not want to delay it any further.” As Darcy spoke, Elizabeth turned to him, begging him with her eyes to stay. He understood her meaning fully. “I will call on you this evening, that is, if it is not an inconvenience to you.”


From there it was planned that Darcy would return for a late supper at the Huskissons’ and after procuring directions from the captain, he set off with a rather determined expression on his face.


Mrs. Huskisson took no time in procuring clean attire for Elizabeth and showed her to one of the guest rooms where she left her to a capable maid and a well deserved bath followed by an unexpected nap resulting from Elizabeth’s desire to only “try out” the large inviting bed.


Elizabeth awoke several hours later feeling more rested than she had ever felt in weeks. She was slightly embarrassed to find that most of the day had passed without her getting to know her hostess and she quickly fixed her hair and smoothed her borrowed dress before going in search of the lady of the house. She found Mrs. Huskisson rather easily as she was sitting with Clara in the room adjacent to hers. The door was open and both the mother and child looked up and greeted Elizabeth. Clara stood and ran over to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards a pile of toys on the floor, her new doll clutched tightly in her hands.


“Miss Bennet, Miss Bennet, you sleep so very much! Have you seen my new doll?” Clara was talking very fast and clear for a three year old.


“No, I have not, but your father told me all about her on the ship. May I hold her?” Elizabeth sat in a smallish rocking chair near the window next to Mrs. Huskisson, who looked delighted to see her guest up and about. After giving the doll a thorough examination Elizabeth was forced to give it up to its impatient owner. “Does she have a name?”


“Of course she does, she’s not a baby!” Clara exclaimed without offering anymore explanation.


“Clara, do not be rude to our guest, Miss Bennet was asking your doll’s name,” Mrs. Huskisson scolded.


“I know,” said Clara with a slight frown, “But she hasn’t told me it yet.”


The ladies could only laugh at the child’s frustration, which resulted in a few tears from the sensitive little girl who was promptly put down for her nap. The ladies then moved down to the sitting room at the front of the house where some refreshments were placed.


“Miss Bennet, you have not eaten since you arrived in Halifax and dinner will not be for another hour or so, please have something now.” Elizabeth eagerly complied and as they ate they spoke of their families, of Halifax and of England.


“It may surprise you that I have never been there,” Mrs. Huskisson confessed.


“Never been to England and married to an Englishman, how peculiar!”


“It is true. We married in France and travel from there to Scotland and from Scotland to here and I have not traveled across the ocean since. I will not again if I can avoid it! I was with child the first time and it did not make for a pleasant journey.”


“Your husband implied that he enjoyed his time with you at sea, it is clear you did not!” Elizabeth was very happy to be conversing with this woman, she was very amiable and appeared to be as impertinent as she.


“Oh no! It is my husband’s life and not mine and I am very content in Halifax. There is an interesting society here, such a mixture of people and cultures, I feel as though I have friends from all over the world.”


“It sounds so very interesting, so much more so than the society I am used to in Meryton. But you much miss the captain when he is away.”


Mrs. Huskisson’s face looked slightly melancholy at that statement. “Yes, especially as of late. He is away from home now most of the time and with the war I am fearful for him. It is always difficult to be away from the ones you love, as you must know. Now tell me, Miss Bennet, for my husband has only mentioned a few little bits of the story and I must know of your and Mr. Darcy’s adventures!”


“Oh, you make it sound as if we are characters in a romantic novel and I assure you it is nothing of the sort!” Elizabeth then began from the day the Jane left Scotland and told her companion most of what occurred in the previous month, omitting much of the more intimate moments. Elizabeth’s way of storytelling provided Mrs. Huskisson with much amusement for the better part of an hour. When she concluded, Elizabeth was relieved to be done but was greatly surprised by the questions that followed.


“And you and Mr. Darcy are to be married?” Elizabeth did not answer right away. “Miss Bennet, it was quite obvious that you two are in love, for I do have eyes, and of course my husband told me.”


“I was not aware that the captain knew of our engagement.” Elizabeth looked confused and irritated.


“Oh, do not fret now; my husband has his own quite way of meddling. He was only doing the honorable thing and insisting that Mr. Darcy marry you after your little adventure together and Mr. Darcy assured him that he had every intention to do so. By the way, someday I would like to hear the rest of your story, the parts you left out!” And with a devious smile, Mrs. Huskisson ringed the maid to take away the trays. After the servants left, the clever Frenchwoman softened her expression and addressed Elizabeth in more comforting tones.


“I am sorry, Miss Bennet, if I suggest too much, it is not my intention to make you uncomfortable.” She paused and a glint in her eye warned Elizabeth of what was to come. “This is why I do not ask you why you left England in the first place.”


“I appreciate your restraint, Mrs. Huskisson.” Elizabeth could only laugh, because even if she was slightly uncomfortable she was also amused by the woman.


“Oh, please call me Emele, Huskisson is such a mouthful, especially for my French tongue.”


“You speak English very well and I would be pleased if you called me Elizabeth.”


“Good. Now that we are intimate friends I must give you some advice. You will be getting much of it from all of your married friends, but what I have to say is very important. Men are dense creatures when it comes to women. They are good with a poetic verse but dreadful at reading our minds, it is so sad really. Therefore we must be clear and tell them everything so that they understand it, otherwise they know nothing of what we are thinking and feeling and this only results in useless arguments and spats. Do you understand?”


“I do, I believe I have had some experience with this.”


“Then this evening you must find a time to be alone with your Mr. Darcy and tell him of your concerns,” Emele held up her hand as Elizabeth tried to protest, “No, no, I see that you are worried about something and you need not tell your good friend Emele, but you must tell your tall, very proper looking fiancé your fears.”


Elizabeth did not answer at first, being slightly offended, but she understood what Emele was saying and despite her uncouth way of doing it, she was only trying to help. “Thank you, I appreciate your assistance, I will take your advice to heart.”


“Very good. Now on to your wardrobe, something must be done, as you have none. I am sure your Mr. Darcy would be willing to pay for anything and so tomorrow we will go shopping for something that will fit you better than my old clothing.”


Elizabeth colored at the idea of dragging Mr. Darcy around to various shops and having him buy her a collection of new things, but she did not say a word and merely let Emele speak on about all the places they would go. Soon the dinner hour approached and Clara had to be attended to, so the ladies rose and separated to their respective rooms, each with much to think about of the other.

Tags: fanfic, sanguine
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